I've always wondered about beauty. What is means to be beautiful or attractive. They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder but is that really true? I get stared at a lot and half the time it's because of what i'm wearing. Am I really beautiful or is it the physical? I've been told otherwise but i'm not so certain . I've seen inner beauty that's truly beyond the physical and there are women I could never measure up to. Maybe I don't give myself enough credit. "Beauty". It even sounds pretty when you say it. But let me be brutally honest right now. Getting compliments and stares all the time does not boost my confidence. If anything it makes me more self-conscience. Sure, I try to look my best but at what cost and why the hell for? I rather be average than in a class where the mere attractive gets privilege. Sometimes my looks have gotten me things I don't ask for but it makes me feel as though I owe them something. Why should I?
People shutter at the thought of someone saying that they rather be average looking than beautiful. Try walking the shoes of someone who is attractive.I'm not a conceited person, if fact I have a low self-esteem. But having people constantly coming up to you and either catcalling or even just randomly following you to get your attention is tiresome. I know it doesn't sound all that terrible but it's really annoying. No matter where I go, half the time i'm catcalled or followed. I could be wearing just a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and some guy would bug me and hit on me. I will admit that in the past when I was younger it was flattering. I thought "wow, maybe I am cute" but now I'm thinking "wow, maybe I should wear sunglasses everywhere I go" The thought scares me because it's ridiculous. I sound ridiculous but i'm sure celebrities go through this on a daily basis. I'm no celebrity so I can only imagine.Going back to what I mentioned earlier, is beauty only seen physically through just clothing? Sometimes I really believe people don't see me as attractive solely for my looks alone. I often think it has to do with the way I dress. I don't often wear revealing clothing but I wear dresses and shorts. It's like all men and women see are the clothes I'm wearing. Although, I said before that I could be wearing jeans and a tshirt and still get hit on, most of the time when I'm wearing a dress, people stare and I wonder if it's because i'm genuinely attractive or just the dress i'm wearing. Haha! silly isn't it? It's silly do think about that question. But maybe all of these questions are just the irrational thoughts of a self-conscience attractive female. I suppose there's beauty in everything, just not everybody sees it. Not even me.
